So I Tried… Rise of the Triad

Each edition of So I Tried… I will try a game that I have never tried before. Will I find something new to love? Will I find something new to despise? I'll take a full half hour, no matter how bad it gets or how badly I do, to see if this is the game for me. This time I went for the PC version of Rise of the Triad.

What I thought it was

A 2013 remake of the, I want to say, adventure(?) game from 1995 also titled Rise of the Triad. The Chinese mob are called the Triads, so it’s probably set in China and from what I’ve heard it’s an FPS. Therefore, I think it’s an FPS set in china — it’s been a while since I’ve played one of those. Red Steel, the launch title on the Wii in fact, though honestly I can’t think of any others set solely in Asia.

What it actually is

A fast-paced FPS somewhat similar to Serious Sam, if it had no humour in it. You’re a member of the super-elite United Nations task force that is so elite that they have never been called in on a job before. That’s literally something we’re told about strike-team H.U.N.T. (High-risk United Nations Task-force). What followed was intense, fast-paced action that saw me having to restart three times from two different checkpoints before I managed to get the hang of it. Even then it was rough going: and I was mainly using a bazooka. The first level has a bazooka — yeah, it’s that kind of game.
Though the opening cutscene is in the form of a comic book, I wasn’t impressed. It was probably because the character selection has what appears to be an ersatz Black Widow, except she has a large tattoo across her chest to stop Disney and Marvel lawyers from suing Apogee Software.

Will I keep playing

I’m not one for twitch-gaming, which is what Rise of the Triad requires in spades. I tried using a controller — after I died and the voiceover suggested it, most likely as a taunt — but that wasn’t sensitive enough, often leaving my crosshairs on either side of the guy I was trying to shoot. I was so glad when I got a bazooka or when I had a grenade launcher, as it meant I could fire for an area of effect, rather than try and hope for a headshot. So no, I shall not be continuing with this game, unless I can find a way to unlock permanent god-mode, so I can fire energy bolts at everyone.