30 Moustaches of Movember

Movember is a month where men don’t shave and grow a (hopefully) stunning moustache. It’s all done for charity, raising awareness not only for prostate and testicular cancer, but also focusing on mental health and suicide prevention. Of course, anyone can join in at any point in the month, even if it’s not a moustache. There are so many ways to raise awareness, so even if you’re not growing your own, you could always sponsor anyone else who’s doing something this month.

However, as Movember is known as being the month of moustaches, I’ve compiled a list of 30 videogame characters and their glorious moustaches. So, let’s dive in.

1. Mario — Mario Franchise

Look, we can’t have a list of moustaches without incorporating the Italian plumber who is primarily known for his moustache. Have you tried imagining Mario without a moustache? I assure you, I’ve thought about it, and this is a man who can’t be seen without one. Sure, there’s Baby Mario, but he’s a baby. He has yet to grow facial hair, but when he does? He will never go back.

2. Luigi — Mario Franchise

If I include Mario on this list, I have to include Luigi. It doesn’t matter that he’s younger; undoubtedly, Luigi needs his moustache. Like Mario, you can’t imagine him without one. It’s all a key part of his character. Besides, what kind of monster would add Mario to the list and then forsake his beloved younger brother? The worst kind, that’s who.

3. Wario — Mario Franchise

Where Mario exists, Wario must also exist. Much like Mario, can you imagine Wario without a moustache? No. No one can imagine Wario without his iconic zig-zagging moustache. Without it, he is a short, burly man who will cackle at you. Somehow, that feels more threatening. His moustache must be protected at all costs.

4. Waluigi — Mario Franchise

I promise, this will be the last Mario character I include. But let’s be honest. You can’t just have the first three and then neglect Waluigi. Sure, he’s never had a mainline game, and nor will he likely ever have one, but Waluigi is iconic. There are some who argue that Waluigi shouldn’t exist. But, how can one live without Waluigi in their life?

5. Braum — League of Legends

 

My knowledge of League of Legends may be limited, but after seeing Braum, I knew he had to be included on the list. That moustache… it just shows how friendly this man is. I would trust Braum. Described as having massive biceps and a massive heart, without his moustache, would he truly still have that description? It is clear. You can trust Braum.

6. Papashan — Final Fantasy XIV

While Critically Acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV has many Warriors of Light with moustaches, and a vast selection of NPCs, there is one that sticks out to me. And this is not just because I’ve only finished A Realm Reborn (I’ll play the other expansions later, I promise). No, it’s because Papashan’s moustache feels directly linked to his paternal nature. After all, he has been the Sultan’s personal bodyguard since she was a child, and his paternal image can only truly be encapsulated by his facial hair.

7. Old Snake — Metal Gear Solid Franchise

How do you know that Snake has grown old over the years (as unfamiliar as I am with the lore, I’m well aware that his age seems to… bounce around a bit)? Well, even without the greying hair, Snake’s moustache is hard to ignore. Of course, over the years, he’s dabbled with no beard, beard, until finally, he settled on the moustache. … Until there’s a new Metal Gear game, then who knows what he’ll have next? All I know is that with the moustache, he really leans into the archetype of a grizzled veteran.

8. Ivo Robotnik — Sonic the Hedgehog Franchise

Ivo Robotnik, a scientist whom most of us will know as Dr. Eggman is one character who you just can’t see without his moustache. Frankly, it’s the only way we wouldn’t just compare him with that of an egg. Plus, there’s a bit of a trend with mad scientists and moustaches, as we can see from our next entry, too.

9. Dr. Wily — Mega Man Franchise

As I said, mad scientists and moustaches really make a villain. Dr. Wily is no exception to this rule. But I suppose it makes sense, as Dr. Light has his glorious, grandfatherly beard, while Dr. Wily looks like he’s ready to give out detentions. After all, it’s the age-old war of beards versus moustaches.

10. Jean-Marc Stroud — Dragon Age Franchise

Remember how I said that some moustaches just seem to convey trust? That’s the kind of ‘stache that Stroud has. As one of the finest swordsmen of the Grey Warden Order, I, personally, would trust this man with my life. I have never played Dragon Age myself, but my colleague spoke highly of him. And therefore, I respect Jean-Marc.

11. Micah Bell — Red Dead Redemption

Now, I could have included any character here, as not only can Arthur grow a moustache, but there are numerous other folks who can. So, in order to not just name this bit as Average Joe from Red Dead Redemption, I chose Micah. While not the finest gentleman in all the land (Micah is a massive douchecanoe), I can’t deny that he has a brilliant moustache.

12. Rhys — Borderlands 3

Hailing from Borderlands 3, we have Rhys. Now, while it’s up to the player whether he keeps or doesn’t keep his moustache, I personally, wouldn’t be rid of it. I mean, come on, it’s great. Plus, the option is a homage to the Tales from the Borderlands games, and I do appreciate that kind of throwback.

13. Cyan Garamonde — Final Fantasy VI

Were you guys not expecting more Final Fantasy characters from me? Who do you all think I am? It’ll always disappoint me that Cyan’s moustache doesn’t really appear on the pixel sprites of VI, but he does look really cool in Amano’s concept art. Somehow, the dignity of the moustache really adds to his already pretty distinguished character. Without that moustache? I may not take the way he speaks seriously.

14. Gast Faremis — Final Fantasy VII

“But no!” You cry out, glaring at me for the inclusion of Gast in this selection. He’s not even that major a role! And for that, I say, shame on you all! While Gast’s character doesn’t appear for long, I say to you, his moustache is the most defining trait of his character model. Without it, Aerith’s father would just be… I dunno, some guy, I guess? Plus, I like to imagine the contrast to a nice scientist this time, in comparison to… well, Hojo.

15. Gustave — Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

While Gustave is one of those characters who does also have a beard, his moustache is one that appears stronger than that of Verso and the others. Plus, none of the other characters are referred to as “Moustache Man”. With the addition of the beret and baguette outfit, Gustave just can’t be seen without his facial hair. I won’t allow it. Illegal.

16. Jinpachi Mishima — Tekken Franchise

Admittedly, this was a difficult choice. I could choose Jinpachi, or his son, Heihachi. In terms of moustache comparisons, however… Well, Heihachi’s stache is just completely superior to his son’s. It manages to curve into spikes that are similar to Heihachi’s hair, and I’m honestly impressed by them. Sure, he has his beard as well, but Jinpachi’s facial hair is just too glorious to ignore.

17. Kleiver — Jak and Daxter Franchise

Despite not having finished the Jak and Daxter series myself, I have to admit that I still remember some of the NPCs from my brother’s playthrough when we were younger. So, I thought this would be a good time to include Kleiver, a character from Jak 3. It’s hilarious because without his moustache, his personality doesn’t show nearly as much in his design. After all, he actually looks like someone who would judge someone based on their driving, and it works.

18. Muggshot — Sly Cooper Franchise

How is it that a bulldog can have such a glorious ‘stache? This is a question that I have repeatedly asked myself as I’ve looked at Sly Cooper’s Muggshot. Undoubtedly, he has spent as much time in the mirror as he has on his upper body exercises. His facial hair produces a lot of his intimidating vibes, and it works well. Without it, it would be hard to take him seriously, and he knows that.

19. Dorian Pavus — Dragon Age Franchise

I can’t ignore Dorian. While the Dragon Age series is still on my TBP (to be played) pile, I appreciate Dorian’s perfectly stylised facial hair. I love him. And I know I’m going to only want to play as a male Inquisitor so I can romance him; if not, I know I’m going to flirt with this man a lot. Somehow, his ‘stache just shows how much playful banter he enjoys.

20. Draven — League of Legends

Looking at Draven in League of Legends, I would not trust him not to kill me. After reading his character description, I’m even less so. How can someone’s facial hair show how bloodthirsty they are, and yet also… dramatic? They could’ve given him a beard, but it wouldn’t be the same.

21. Torgue — Borderlands Franchise

And in Number 21, we have Mr. Torgue High-Five Flexington, the most electrifying man in combat entertainment. As an enjoyer of the Borderlands series, I can’t help but love Torgue. He’s brilliant. The man just wants his explosions, and I, for one, am happy to supply them. With his moustache, he looks like someone who would set a bunch of fireworks off in my direction, but in a fun way.

22. Cid Fabool IX — Final Fantasy IX

No, I’m not sorry for including another Final Fantasy character. Cid’s moustache in Final Fantasy IX is so iconic that even after being transformed into an oglop, it is his key feature that still signifies who he is. Plus, what’s a list without a Cid? A pretty poor list from me, I dare say.

23. Sir Hammerlock — Borderlands Franchise

Returning to the Borderlands series briefly, I bring you: Sir Hammerlock. While he may look like a Victorian adventurer, I absolutely adore him. As a Vault Hunter ally, I always know that when he appears, I’ll be in for a fun time. Plus, I’m happy that he’s married now. Sir Hammerlock deserves the best.

24. Udom Bedford — The Outer Worlds

Despite never playing Outer Worlds (again, on the TBP pile) while I don’t like Udom much, I have to admit, his moustache is… immaculate. Yet also, it adds to his smug aura. He reminds me of Mr. Monopoly, and I already dislike him. I am including his facial hair out of spite, as it may be one of his few redeeming qualities.

25. Major Swift — Fable III

Truthfully, I’m ashamed that it took me this long to get to Major Swift. Fable III was one of my favourite games as a teenager, and it still ranks as one of my favourite games of all time. The amount of moustaches available in that game? Amazing. But none quite so amazing as Major Swift’s. His appearance really does show his loyal disposition, and frankly, I still miss him.

26. Dracula — Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Look, Castlevania’s Dracula is cool as hell. I have no notes for him, especially as he is in Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. He appears dignified, regal, and absolutely like someone I would not want to mess with. Plus, I just love Dracula, okay?

27. Cervantes — Fire Emblem: Awakening

I was recommended Fire Emblem: Awakening by some friends of mine, and frankly, I still need to finish it (I’m so sorry TBP pile), but one character I appreciate? Cervantes. Cervantes is a Valmese general, and he takes great pride in his humble whiskers. They are not humble. This man’s personality is his facial hair, and I don’t blame him. Frankly, his whiskers do intimidate me.

28. Ned Flanders — The Simpsons Franchise

Am I being cheeky about including Ned Flanders on this list? Yes. But he does appear in numerous Simpsons games, and frankly, how can you reject him? Without his moustache, he’s naked. We can’t allow that, not of Stupid, Sexy Flanders.

29. Guardian — Baldur's Gate 3

I’m not running out of characters, you are. When I made my Guardian in Baldur’s Gate 3, I gave him the most glorious, beautiful, pink moustache known to man. Yes, it is cheeky to include him. But I would date him. Yes, I’m aware this means I would romance the Mindflayer. Give me time, I’ll go after you, you beautifully designed bastard.

30. Altera — Fate/Grand Order

To quote my colleague, “Altera definitely has a moustache.” It’s true. During one of the Fate/Grand Order Christmas events, Altera does have a moustache. There are no notes. She did a wonderful job. Whether the moustache is real? Irrelevant. She is a videogame character, and I love her cute little moustache.

Are there any characters that you would add to the list? Do you disagree with some of my points? Want to gush about moustaches? Personally, if you do, I recommend looking into Movember. Whether you pay attention to it this year or next, it’s a worthy cause to be remembered each month.