What Happens When The Remasters Don't Stop...

With remasters coming at us left, right and centre, be it God of War 3, DmC: Devil May Cry, or the rare occasion that it’s something that we actually care about, what can we expect further down the line? More polished turds, or actual genre defining games?

Well in this article, we cross into an alternate dimension, one where remastered games take up the majority of releases and where the developers have no qualms in admitting that they are essentially flogging dead horses.

With that in mind, here’s the list of remasters that have received the rolled-in-glitter treatment and are ready to be shoved down your throat for the next few months.

Lair: Ultimate Dragon Edition

Remember Lair? No, neither do we, but nevertheless rekindle your love for the unresponsive sixaxis controller with this PS3 launch title, remastered for your PS4. Ride dragons, breath fire, attack castles and throw your unresponsive motion controller out of the window. Lair: Ultimate Dragon Edition will make you realise why launch titles, are launch titles and that we think you lot are complete mugs.

                                              

 

FIFA Generations - All Platforms

It’s still a few months until we are proud to announce an unexpected, new edition to FIFA, FIFA 16. In the meantime, why not hit the nostalgia nerve. Collecting FIFA 10-15, FIFA Generations boasts ‘up-ressed’ graphics highlighting the frailties of your last console, and allows you to play with teams and players you couldn’t care less about.

 

Telltale Presents 'The Back To The Park' Bundle - All Platforms

Cashing in on the success of our The Walking Dead series and the more recent Game of Thrones and Borderlands episodics, here at Telltale we are proud to announce the collection of the games we pretend were good. To keep the lights on, and our family in clothes between now and when our Minecraft and Marvel endeavours bring in the dosh, we’re bundling together our two worst games and selling them for more than the price of one. Please… my children are hungry.

                                                 

 

Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified Definitive Edition - PS4

Let’s not beat around the bush, this was the worst Call of Duty to date, even worse given the fact was an exclusive… to vita. Literally nobody enjoyed this game, until now. We’ve made it a ‘piss poor at best’ PS4 exclusive and you can be part of the lowest point of the series by taking the plunge. If you’re sick of high octane, cinematic experiences and want something cheap-looking that doesn’t run properly, then you can pre-order now for a bonus NPC design.

                                               

Guitar Hero III: Remastered - All Platforms

 

With Guitar Hero Live recently announced, now is the time to refine your button-mashing skills with an even more expensive plastic guitar, slightly less crappy cartoon graphics and a collection of songs you’ve never heard of. Guitar Hero III: Remastered will last for almost twice as long as it’s predecessor. That should get you to July, then.