What Your Favourite Ace Attorney Lawyer Says About You

Love Your Lawyer Day is held on the first Friday of November every year, and there is only one game series that could possibly highlight this day. That’s right, the Ace Attorney series. Now, everyone has a favourite lawyer in the series, but have you ever considered what your favourite one says about you?

No? Well, too late. I’m roasting us all here.

Phoenix Wright

You’re a bit of a people-pleaser, aren’t you? Yes, you’re a good friend to those around you, and you’d take a bullet for them… but let’s be honest, you’re hiding some kind of sarcastic inner monologue. Once you get to know someone, you’ll let this out, and when offering advice, let’s be honest… How good is the advice you’re giving? How much of this advice is just dad jokes disguised as wisdom? Overall, you’re pretty likeable, but people can take advantage of you, and you’re aware of this and a little disillusioned, but still give others the benefit of the doubt.

Mia Fey

If Mia’s your favourite lawyer, then undoubtedly, you are the mum friend of the group. If someone struggles to make their order? You’ll do it for them. The mum friend override is strong with you, and you may be an older sibling. While you might struggle with names, you’re clever, and many are intimidated by just how many books you own. But these mean nothing, not when you’ve also got a houseplant that you’re dedicated to. Come on, guys, we know you have your own Charley. Have you remembered to water it today? Better yet, are you hydrated?

Winston Payne

Really? Winston? Okay, I’m a little surprised by this, but hey, what do I know? After all, you clearly know more than all of us. Right? Well, we all know if you’re in an argument, the moment someone mentions an actual fact, you break down completely. Yeah, you have some idea of what you’re doing, but we all know you’ve been playing everything on easy mode and claiming that you’ve completed DARK SOULS. Don’t lie. We know you haven’t. But come on, it’s okay. Sometimes playing games on Easy mode is a fun way to relax. We’ve all done it. There’s no shame here, buddy.

Miles Edgeworth

You’re a nerd, a socially awkward one. But that’s fine. Yeah, you give off this cool aura, but we all know you’re camera-shy. It’s fine, because we know if you need to have someone’s back, you’ll be there. You might not understand people that well, but you’re relatively accepting of others’ beliefs. Sure, you might scoff a little bit, but you’re not an asshole about it (much). Outside of that, you’ve got a certain aesthetic that you want to maintain, and no one can know your weaknesses. It’s alright though, because we all know about the anime figurines.

Manfred von Karma

Not everything has to be perfect, and you really need to remember that. Look, I get it, you need to 100% everything. Get all achievements, but please, you need to go outside and touch some grass! Also, can you stop scaring people? It’s becoming a problem. You’ve been on the internet for so long that you’ve forgotten how to be decent to people. Yes, there are those who will be better than you at things. That’s okay! You can be good as you are! It’s not a crime to not be great at everything.

Marvin Grossberg

You know, if Marvin’s your favourite, then you’re pretty chill. Sure, you’re a little bit caught up in your nostalgia, and you have a strict moral compass, but you’re not a bad person. The only weakness you have is that you might overshare. But sometimes, you do that just to relate to others, and that’s not a bad thing! You always make sure to remember those you’ve met, and people are left with a good impression of you.

Godot

After having a coffee for the first time, you made it your entire personality, didn’t you? It’s fine. At first, you just had a frappe as a gateway coffee, and then you started experimenting with the different blends. Though, after a while, you really did just decide that coffee should only be drunk black. You think it makes you cooler, darker, edgier… It doesn’t. You stare forlornly at Pumpkin Spice Lattes and drink them on the side. Plus, you can be a bit of an asshole. Not intentionally, you can be hilarious, but… Have you considered that not everyone is like you? Sometimes, you have to remember that.

Franziska von Karma

If you’re a Franziska fan, you might have a few issues with your height. Also, you may have had parents with extremely high expectations of you. You feel like you need to be in control of everything, and you’ve definitely considered BDSM before. After all, you saw the whips, and maybe you’ve considered being a dom. But, you’ve only considered it. Deep down, you want to be looked after, and you also have a soft spot for those you think are weaker than you. I mean, you don’t want to show this, but we all know that you just keep a wall around to keep those closest to you further away.

Apollo Justice

Ah, the anxiety is strong within you. You present yourself as loud, but it’s just to block out your impostor syndrome. While you want to be treated seriously, others have teased you about your behaviour in the past. Even though you can be uncomfortable with being treated like a kid, you know you don’t have your life together. Any time you have a deadline, you might procrastinate a bit, surviving on noodles and caffeine to get things done… but you do get it done.

Kristoph Gavin

Kristoph fans, I know you want to be seen as cool as a cucumber. But we all know that you will overlook things that you should have already considered, and get flustered when someone points it out. You can’t be wrong, and you will try to prove it at all costs. If you have younger siblings, you’ve definitely blamed them for something you did and absolutely bossed them around a ton. You were the gifted golden child, and you refuse to let that go.

Klavier Gavin

Your sense of sibling rivalry has taken form to become a healthy sense of competition with anyone. Friends, family, your siblings; anything can be solved with a fair fight. You’re also a bit of an attention seeker who needs affirmation, and you will share your Spotify Wrapped to anyone and everyone who listens. It’s not a bad thing; you have a strong appreciation for music, and the music you listened to when you were younger? That absolutely shaped your taste.

Athena Cykes

For those who know you, they may get exasperated with your talk of the gap year you took or the holidays you’ve had. You're fond of learning about different languages, and you’re not afraid to pepper them in your speech. But this hides your own fears and insecurities. Sometimes, you think that you aren’t good enough, and you need to build your confidence a bit more, but this doesn’t stop you from trying your best. Also, you're fond of technology and can go on endless tangents about your current hyperfix.

Simon Blackquill

Do you have any clothes in your wardrobe that aren’t in monochrome? Nope? Well, that’s fair. While you can seem intimidating at first, you’re really a soft-hearted weeb. With dark humour that everyone expects, you’re not actually as harsh as people make out. You tend to be supportive of your friends, but this comes in the form of snark and sarcastic comments. If you’re too nice, everyone will get suspicious.

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

There’s a lot of religious trauma with you, isn’t there? While you are religious, you’re trying not to let everything you learned get to you. After all, you still care a lot for your family, and have absolutely worked as the mediator trying to keep everything together. Unfortunately, that means your patience has been running out for a while now, and because of that, you find it almost impossible to take a joke.

Dhurke Sahdmadhi

How many times have you considered inciting a revolution? Come on now, don’t be shy. We know that you have a strong moral compass and you’re trying to ensure that everything is fair and just for everyone. You absolutely love dragons and think they’re magnificent, and while you can be a goofball, others see you as being reckless. You would drop everything for your family, and have often put your own happiness aside so that others could be happy instead.

Gaspen Payne

I apologise for my judgement towards Winston fans. Gaspen fans? Really? I’m not sure if I should be contacting the authorities because… are you sure you’re not on a watchlist? People have noted your smug aura, and not as a joke either. Somehow, you think that having the shiniest and newest things that people will see that you’re not also just playing on Easy mode. I said the same thing to the Winston fans, but you won’t listen, will you? Please stop judging everyone, and for the love of all that is holy, stop telling women to get back to the kitchen.

Gregory Edgeworth

Unironically, you have questioned what is down with the kids these days. You’re always the type to go straight to someone if you have a problem. If you’re wrong? Well, it’s nothing personal. While others think you’re stoic, you’re not afraid to laugh at yourself if you get something wrong. In fact, you’ll put on a brave face for others to ensure that they’ll be fine.

Robert Hammond

Stop throwing everyone under the bus. Frankly, I’m surprised that anyone likes Hammond. Sure, you might be good at what you do, but you’re not afraid to shift the blame onto someone else. You have no qualms with eating the last slice of pizza, and no, you won’t ask first.

Eddie Fender

You see the best in everyone, and while you can hold them to higher standards, you tend to give others the benefit of the doubt. Sure, you’re a little bit quirky, and maybe a little hands-on, but you just really like hugs. Most people appreciate your sarcastic wit. While you can get a little bit stuck in your own memories, you’re not the type to just live in the past.

Eustace Winner

Eustace fans, you have a bit of a habit of rubbing people the wrong way at first, don’t you? It’s not a problem. It’s just that sometimes you act like you have the answers to everything, but you didn’t even know what the question was, did you? While you can burst into tears easily at confrontation, you’re steadily getting better. You’ve started learning more, and nowadays, you’re more likely to ask the questions instead of jumping in to try and look good.

Ryunosuke Naruhodo

You can be pretty… intense. While people might think that you’re shy and quiet at first, when you get to know others? Well, you have a bit of a flair for the dramatic. You make jokes, and sometimes, this can get you in trouble. You’re not afraid of telling the truth, and you know that there’s a difference between saying it how it is and just being a dick.

Barok van Zieks

Ah, a person of culture, I see. Undoubtedly, you’ve often sat down with a glass of wine and acted as though you knew what you were talking about. You don’t, and quite frankly, no one’s sure if you even drink wine. While you used to befriend anyone, you’ve been burned a few too many times, making it difficult to trust others. While that doesn’t make you a bad person, it has meant that you’ve treated others like dirt due to your preconceptions.

Taketsuchi Auchi

You act like you’re better than anyone, but we all know… You’re not actually, are you? While you might think you know it all, we know otherwise. You don’t really have any personality other than mentioning what you’ve studied, and you may have a bit of a silver spoon problem. Also, you have cut your own hair, and it… did not go well.

Kazuma Asogi

There are so many people who admire you, and you know this, but don’t let it get to your head. You don’t have a sense of inflated ego and have been happy to help out those in need, especially friends and family. While you’ve definitely dabbled in martial arts, it’s only one of your passions. Overall, you’re determined to reach your goals, but sometimes, your determination can be an issue.

With that in mind, these are all the Ace Attorney lawyers I can think of. Did I miss anyone? Do you have a better take? Feel free to share in the comments below!