Five Things That Will Get You Coal in Your Stockings

Nothing ruins the Christmas spirit (or even just your will to live) more than gamers being bad people and ruining games for everyone. From laggers to spammers, we have it all here, folks! The top five things that will get you coal in your Mario stocking this year! 

Camping

Camping has to be one of the most annoying things that a gamer can do unto another gamer. I have been blissfully ignorant of such practice for most of my gaming life because I never did care for shooters, but unfortunately it plagues other things... like World of Warcraft. 

You wouldn't think camping could go outside of shooters, seeing as they're the ones that most complain about it, but just try to play World of Warcraft's Warsong Gulch and you'll quickly discover this is a sin committed rarely only because it's not easy to accomplish. 

I know getting camped by a sniper at your respawn point is bad, but do you have any idea how embarrassing it is for your entire team to be getting camped at the same time while the enemy dances and emotes through the screams of your comrades? It's just the worst.

Spamming in fighting games

One of the first rules my wife and I set was that we were no longer allowed to use spammy abilities in fighting games. This was back when we were children and I had learned the bad habit from my older brother, then my wife caught on after I spammed at her, and then within a few rounds I was begging for forgiveness and a truce.

You would think that other adults would grow up and stop it like we did but, much to my dismay, gamers have a tendency to hold onto whatever they can to win when they're bad. That's right, I said it. If you rely on spamming you're not only bad, you're also naughty, and will be getting magma-hot coal in your stockings! 

Scalping

I can't imagine that everyone that scalps is a gamer, but those who are will be taking home the badge of dishonour for their disgusting immoral actions. 

I'm not talking about the actual scalp-scalping (I think that deserves a little more than coal), I'm talking about stealing from people the chance to buy a reasonably priced console and then making us pay an arm and a leg worth for it. It doesn't help that consoles are released in time for Christmas, so it's that much worse when they do that. Sorry, Timmy, no Xbox for you this year. 

Spoiling things

My wife and I have a very strict code for our (few) friendships where we made it a rule to never spoil anything to us unless they want to be put in time-out. We are big fans of knowing nothing about games, books, shows, and movies. Sometimes it goes as far as us not knowing anything because it'll be more fun this way. 

But there's nothing like going on social media and then having a bunch of people spoil important plot points or cool cameos from games because they just felt like ruining my day. I get so paranoid about spoiling stuff for people or sometimes I get nervous I’m not being vague enough in my articles! Show me the same respect, people! 

There's more than coal waiting for you in your stocking if you dare spoil anything to me about The Last of Us Part II. Yes, I am aware it's old news at this point. It takes me a while to get to games, okay?

Cheaters

Yet again, thanks to my limited exposure with annoying people in gaming, I hadn't come across anyone that I was sure was cheating, and not just embarrassing me by being better at games. That is until I played Fall Guys last year.

I mean there's no mistaking it when they are literally flying above you. They're not even shy about their sinful practices. How can you feel you deserve that skin if you freaking cheated for it? How?!

Definitely one of my highlights for 2020 was when my wife and I were in a round and the cheater actually lost. They managed to be that much of a failure by accidentally scoring for us in the football minigame and giving us the win. Their flying speed was too much to handle for their one brain cell, I guess. I walked away with a very important lesson that day; never give up. Not even when there's a cheater on the enemy team. Also, cheaters, Santa hates you.

That's it for the top five things that will get you coal this year! Have you done any of the above? There may still be some time to correct your path of evil. Did I miss any? Lemme know in the comments below!