From the Top: Secret Agent Clank

Hello and welcome back to my relentless rambling as I play through every game in the Ratchet & Clank franchise I can get my hands on. Last time we dipped our toes into the weird world of High Impact Games’ PlayStation Portable spinoffs with Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters, which now continues onto the very first title missing our gunslinging hero from the title: Secret Agent Clank! If this is your first time joining me, I do recommend checking out the series so far, as I reference the titles played up until now quite a bit.

So, Secret Agent Clank. Released in 2008, I admit, this is a title I had never played (or considered playing) up until now; the title just gave off such a “cheap spinoff” feel that I gravitated away, having little interest in playing a 007 knock-off. However, having gone through the narrative, I will admit that I was very much wrong! This may be one of my favourites in the series so far, despite some hiccups.

The narrative is, again, a bit hard to place. It definitely takes place after the main PlayStation 2 titles, though the previously fictional show now seems to be… an actual secret intelligence agency? We start off with Clank, in his Secret Agent chassis, looking over a museum holding a valuable gem, the Eye of Infinity.

The sizable crystal is soon stolen, and Clank is on the scene to apprehend the baddie, only for the ne'er-do-well to be Ratchet! The erstwhile hero, who claims amnesia, is then shipped off to prison, leaving our mechanical agent to solve this mystery, find the missing Eye, and clear Ratchet's name, starting off the game proper.

The gameplay of Secret Agent Clank is divided into three main subsections: the adventures of our mechanical cover operative, Ratchet’s time in the slammer, and the bumblings of everyone’s favourite comic relief, Captain Qwark. Though each character does get a fair bit of screen time, it is Clank that is, without a doubt, the star of the show.

Our robotic hero’s segments are where the game is closest to the classic Ratchet & Clank formula of light platforming mixed with weapons-based combat. Clank even has his own ship to hop between the many planets of the game! However, there are a few key differences, as one could assume from the title.

Instead of going in blasters blazing, Clank’s approach is much stealthier. The game emphasises using quieter tactics where possible, with multiple tools and gameplay mechanics built around it… though most situations devolve into a brawl pretty quickly. For example, our agent is armed with an ink pen, with which he can blot out laser emitters (because, of course, there are laser tripwires everywhere), but it’s a very limited resource. He can also perform a contextual takedown if an enemy is taken unawares, which is both fun and frustrating; more on that later.

Now and again, these stealth sections are interrupted with one of three mini-games: chase scenes, rhythm sections, and Gadgebot missions. The first is pretty straightforward. Clank is either fleeing from something or chasing someone in one vehicle or another. The sections take place in a linear path filled with obstacles and other dangers to avoid. Enemies will occasionally catch up and derail our hero, forcing Clank to either shove them into the sides of the level or blow them up with bombs.

Although these segments have a bad habit of dragging on for ages, there is something quintessential about having a chase sequence in any secret agent media, which is why I didn’t mind them too much. Thankfully, they aren’t very frequent.

The rhythm mini-game, however, was absolutely terrible. Sure, they were even more sparse than the chase scenes, but I am convinced something went horribly wrong with this mechanic. As in most rhythm challenges, the player is tasked with hitting buttons to a beat. Success means Clank does something cool on-screen, be it avoiding lasers, dancing with a pretty lady-bot, or taking out foes. Miss too many beats and our hero fumbles.

The issue is that either there is no music to match, the notes are irrevocably out of sync, or the audio mixing is terrible. The result feels more like a very prolonged quick-time event than anything even close to one of my favourite game modes.

On a happier note, the Gadgebot sections are perfectly fine. Part of the same organisation as Clank, a team of three bots jumps in to perform minor tasks in support of our main man. Similar to earlier titles, the Gadgebots are often tasked with solving puzzles that require the trio to work together, be it to pull switches or power a machine.

Now, even though Clank is getting top billing in the game, Ratchet is still around and has his own segments, unlike Ratchet: Deadlocked. Being behind bars and surrounded by enemies, both new and old, Ratchet's sections act as the arena challenges for this particular title. The warden of the facility is a bit of a masochist, you see, so he enjoys leaving the inmates to their own devices, even if they are armed to the teeth.

In typical Ratchet & Clank humour, the reason our hero even has any weapons on hand is that Clank keeps sending them in disguised as cakes. The player even gets to see a few examples as they discover or purchase new arms as the game goes on. It’s honestly a dumb joke, but I love it.

Much like arenas of the past, these segments consist of multiple rounds of combat, usually with some kind of modifier or environmental hazard mixed in to keep it interesting. For example, one level has remotely operated turrets that shoot at anything in the proximity, whereas another has a giant dryer that can be used to toast foes. I was honestly surprised by how creative and funny these battles were!

Regretfully, they do tend to drag on for way too long, which is doubly bad as there are no checkpoints; fail once, and it’s back to the beginning of the match! Thankfully, they are generally generous with healing items, so most bouts can be survived with a bit of patience. Best of all, however, are the enemies!

Though we’ll get into them in more detail later, Ratchet’s sections basically consist of the series’ greatest hits enemy-wise! Our hero faces everything from Ameboeds and Thugs-4-Less goons to Tyhrranoids and those weird porcupine dudes from Deadlocked. It makes sense for the setting and is a nice nod to the franchise's history, which I appreciate.

Finally, there is everyone's favourite galactic hero, Captain Qwark. Within the narrative, the good captain is being interviewed for his biography. Desperately in need of material, he uses a device to track our leading Agent, coming up with tall tales at each new location.

Qwark’s segments take the form of various mini-games with unique mechanics and settings, ranging from fighting a giant space dragon to protecting a dam from malicious cacti. The sections themselves are fine and mostly entertaining, though they have a bad habit of dragging on just a bit too long. It is worth it, however, as there is a mission where the man actually sings a rendition of Georges Bizet’s Carmen Overture as the background music. Jim Ward sure can sing; may he rest in peace.

Moving onto the mechanical design, the controls are pretty much the same from Size Matters, down to the odd approach to strafing. As mentioned before, Secret Agent Clank adds a layer of stealth to the general jump-and-shoot gameplay… though it doesn’t really work.

The player can, if they want, sneak up on enemies to take them out automatically and use tools to eliminate tripwires and so on. The game purports to reward stealthy players with a bundle of experience for each successful stealth action, but I never felt like it was worth it. Supposedly, this bonus XP should be added to health and weapons, but either I misunderstood the latter or it simply didn’t work.

To be brutally honest, it didn’t make sense to avoid combat, since I kinda wanted to see what my cool spy tools would upgrade into. As an added frustration, the timed contextual takedown would often simply not trigger. Thankfully, the movement and general feel of the game are slightly more refined from the first PSP entry, despite my grumblings.

Happily, the level design maintains the same amount of creativity we saw in Size Matters. Clank finds himself travelling through stuffy museums, snowcapped peaks housing secret lairs, and even a tropical party town, each with its own gimmick. The game also tries to make the platforming areas feel organic, though with some mixed results. I appreciate the effort nonetheless.

Weirdly, I found myself being most impressed by the Ratchet sections, at least on a design level. Though the area these arena fights take place in is quite limited, the developers have made sure they each feel unique! First off, each has its own hazards and tools for the player to mess about with, as mentioned before. The missions themselves are suitably themed to the area in question, be it keeping convicts from escaping the facility or making sure sneaky paparazzi don’t snap an unflattering (and scandalous) picture of our hero in the shower.

The best thing about these all-out brawls is the enemies. Mechanically, they are as bullet-spongey, slightly simplistic foes we’ve grown accustomed to so far. However, the developers have gone the extra mile, as Ratchet’s inmates actually change up their clothes and weapons based on the arena! Fighting in the gym? They’ll be swinging barbells and wearing the classic black-and-white stripes. In the mess hall, the weights are switched to choice cuts, and in the showers, a simple towel is used as apparel.

Sure, these are only cosmetic differences, but I appreciate the thought put into them. It shows a level of care and fun I’ve not seen in the mainline series since Going Commando. The best arena challenge is the bathouse, however. There is a whole mechanic in which taking damage will make our gunslinging Lombax drop his towel, revealing… a massive censor bar. It’s a crude joke and quite childish, but I found it hilarious. Even the enemies suffer the same indecency if hit!

As a final note on levels, quite a few of the previous titles have had a behind-the-scenes type of section, where the developers can show off cut content or early ideas. These are usually unlocked by either earning every skill point in the game or by using a hidden teleporter at a specific time (usually at 2 am).

In Secret Agent Clank, the High Impact Games lads have added a similar location, with the High Impact Games Treehouse! I mention it, as this time around, entry is gained by finding secret codes hidden in each level, which I vastly prefer! The devs deserve to show off their hard work, and I really don’t want to hunt obscure challenges on a deadline.

In terms of weapons, the game is an interesting mix of familiar and new. Looking at the mechanical side of things, very little has changed from Size Matters, with Ratchet especially using a lot of the same guns. The same level-up system is used, with armaments evolving on hitting the fourth level. The mods also return, though they are now purchasable from the same vendor as the tools of destruction themselves. Amusingly, adding a mod to a gun adds a prefix to its name, like “Superdense” or “Delicious”, which is fun, even if most of the names don’t quite fit the screen.

Where things get interesting, however, is in Clank’s repertoire of pain-dealers. Being a covert operative, the mechanical man can hardly be expected to tote the kinds of enormous firepower Ratchet does; instead, he is equipped with a suite of creative and thematic gear! I loved how creative and fitting each weapon was.

Things start off rather simple with the starter “gun”, which is the Tie-a-Rang. As the name implies, Clank’s nifty bow-tie can become a throwable saw blade of destruction. Then you also have Cufflink Bombs, a carnivorous corsage with the Tanglevine Carnation, and even a Blowtorch Briefcase. Extra attention has been paid so that each gadget honestly looks like something innocuous when not actively fired, which just makes the whole thing that much better.

My favourite bit of tech for Clank was definitely the Thunderstorm Umbrella. A nondescript umbrella at first glance, the black bit of fabric and metal can store up electric energy for a devastating bolt that deals a very formidable amount of damage, especially if fully charged. It looks dapper.

As an added bit of design genius, Secret Agent Clank has weapons that pull double duty, also working as Gadgets. The Tie-a-Rang can cut down thick cables, certain doors can be melted through with the blowtorch, and the Carnation can gunk up machines or stop moving platforms. Sure, there are some guns that just go pew and Gadgets with no other function than “open door”, but the concept is a good one, and I’m sad to see it not being used more.

Speaking of Gadgets, our robotic hero does have a few, even with the multi-use ordnance… though it’s a bit of a mixed bag at best. Starting off with the classic hacking tool, Clank is armed with the Omni-Key, which can be used to pick any lock with the use of a colour-matching mini-game. This is, by far, the worst hacking tool in the series so far, as the Tetris-esque section is frustratingly long, poorly programmed, and just dull in general. Thankfully, it doesn’t come up often.

Possibly the most frequently used Gadget of the bunch is the aforementioned Blackout Pen, a fountain pen that can spit up gobs of ink to cover cameras and laser tripwire emitters. While it is a fun little nod to the classic spy tools of the likes of James Bond, the sparse ammo in comparison to the number of inkblottable targets makes it feel a bit risky to use. Ink canisters also can’t be purchased from the vendor, making it situational at best.

The other fancy tools Clank has hidden in his metallic suit are a bit less interesting. We have a watch that can stun enemies for a while and the Gadgetron PDA, which is just a portable vendor with inflated prices. The Holo-Monocle is a bit more creative, as it allows our hero to scan an enemy and then project that enemy's form over his own, effectively hiding in plain sight. While it can be used just about anywhere, the player is often forced to clear a room to continue in any case outside of specific puzzle instances. It does, however, give some fun facts about each scanned enemy, even bosses!

Finally, Clank can also purchase upgrades to his melee fighting chops from the vendor in the form of Clank Fu files. These enhancements either add a new move to his arsenal or increase the number of hits in his combo attack. While they are a fun addition in concept, I didn’t really use melee all that much as the diminutive bot; either I took the enemy out with a contextual knockout, or I kept my distance and yeeted ties at them.

Continuing on to Ratchet, his armoury is a hodgepodge of Size Matters guns, with a few reintroduced classics and a new idea or two. The Lacerator returns, though it starts off in its previously upgraded dual-wielded form, which is an interesting first. The Bee Mine and Shock Rocket also make their return, largely unchanged. From previous entries, we have the Walloper, all the way from the first title, although it now uses ammo. Up Your Arsenal’s Plasma Whip is also here, and Deadlocked’s Hunter Mine Launcher is represented here by the Mine Launcher.

In terms of completely new ideas, we have a whopping two to explore, one of which is a pretty worn concept by now: a shotgun. The Shard Cannon basically shoots flechettes of ice in a cone, dealing both damage and slowing enemies down. While I do enjoy the idea and it is a good gun, I just think we’ve kinda done everything there is to do with basic shotgun-type weapons.

The other new weapon, the Pork Bomb Gun, also fills the traditional role of transmogrifier, as it transforms enemies into cute lil piggies. It’s pretty effective, and the fact that it affects enemies in an area puts it in the top tier of its class. Additionally, with the addition of a weapon mod, slain enemies even have a chance of dropping juicy hams and bits of bacon that heal Ratchet! I’m surprised it took this long for the franchise to explore healing items… even if the concept is a bit gruesome on closer inspection.

Finally, the RYNO makes another triumphant appearance. Unlike in Size Matters, however, it is priced at a much more reasonable 2,000,000 bolts. Sadly, the gun itself is very unwieldy, acting more like a shotgun than a rapid-fire missile launcher. With the exorbitant price of ammo, it's just not worth using.

Since Secret Agent Clank is, as the title implies, focused more on our mechanical buddy, I get that not as much care and effort is put into Ratchet’s side of things, but I do admit to being a bit disappointed in the offerings. I love the old weapons, but I’m here for more exciting and silly guns, please!

Weirdly, where Clank has all of the fun weapons and Ratchet’s gear is a bit bland, the opposite is true in terms of enemies. The majority of our steel spy’s enemies are robots, with the odd Ameboid thrown in for good measure. While they aren’t uninteresting per se, they do tend to get reused a fair bit. I think the shift in gameplay may also explain why the enemies feel so odd; instead of running and gunning, we’re hiding and neck-chopping.

Ratchet’s roster, on the other hand, is a delightful grab bag of the series’ history, with some delightful variation in design for each stage. Honestly, there’s not much to say about the enemies in general. The bosses are pretty quick and one-note; the enemies do the job while being pretty forgettable, and they don’t quite match the creativity on display. Qwark’s sections get a pass, though. He gets to fight belligerent cacti and sea lemurs.

The characters of Secret Agent Clank are, similarly, a bit of a mixed bag. Our two leads are as entertaining as ever, and it is nice to see Clank getting his time in the sun. However, outside of the main duo (and maybe Qwark), everyone else is forgettable at best. Clank has a support character, Anastasia, who acts as his radio contact with the Agency, but she’s hardly present for most of the time. Clank also has to woo a rich debutante bot, though she is also quickly forgotten. The Plumber does pop in for a bit and then vanishes, but that is the nature of his character

The only standout character of the bunch is, ironically, introduced in the final moments of the game: Klunk. Yes indeed, the throwaway evil clone of Clank from Up Your Arsenal returns as the mastermind behind the game's narrative. While he seems mostly unchanged, he now rocks a sweet goatee and pilots a suite of mech suits modelled after an in-game boss, Nefarious, and Ratchet, respectively. While not exactly original, the dialogue between the two bots is done well, and the final boss battle is a pretty good rendition of the classic spy movie ending.

To summarise my thoughts, I was pleasantly surprised by Secret Agent Clank. What I took to be a lazy spinoff turned out to be a very heartfelt and creative addition to the franchise, even if its place in the canon is a bit wonky. While the frustrations and jank of Size Matters are still present, I found myself less bothered by them due to the tighter design and better pacing. I’m as surprised as anyone to conclude that it is definitely worth playing for fans of the franchise!

And with that, the PSP era of Ratchet & Clank comes to a close. Though the two games weren’t the best, they did show signs of that creative spark Insomniac seemed to have lost sight of. As we slowly creep up on the next generation of the franchise with the Ratchet & Clank Future trilogy, it remains to be seen if said spark makes a comeback or if the series continues its descent into a cover-based shooter. Join me next time, as we kick off the PlayStation 3 era with Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction!