Gaming With The Girlfriend (part 5)

Griefing can be one of the most annoying aspects of multiplayer gaming. For those not in the know, griefing refers to the act of trying to disrupt other players and spoil their games. The most common forms of griefing boil down to team-killing and intentionally failing objectives. Accidental griefing can be even more frustrating - at least she assures me that it's an accident!

The recent release of Minecraft on Xbox 360 seemed to be an ideal opportunity to introduce Miss Beanz to the electronic equivalent of Lego, in a more girlfriend friendly format. Despite the limitations on the console, and being slightly outdated when compared to the PC original; we were won over by the split-screen option and simplified crafting interface.

Everything went according to plan to begin with - we worked through the basic steps of creating the early wooden tools and collecting resources; we even managed to build ourselves a house, with only one or two minor disagreements on the design (a situation likely to have been significantly different if we’d had to make a decision about wallpaper and carpets!). Soon, however, we were in need of rare materials, meaning it was time to venture below the surface in search of Iron, Gold and possibly even the elusive Diamond.

Despite the occasional mistimed swing, resulting in girlfriend’s pickaxe making contact with my character (and corresponding loss of health), we were in good shape as we delved deeper and deeper. Following a number of misplaced footsteps, resulting in some overly rapid descending into the multitude of caverns of our world, we encountered our first Monster Spawner. For those not familiar with Minecraft, within the randomly generated caves there is a chance of discovering a ‘dungeon’ containing chests and a block capable of repeatedly spawning enemies, beyond those that have a chance to spawn in sufficiently dark areas of the map.

Rounding the corner and noticing a group of spiders ahead, I drew my sword and instructed Miss Beanz to back off to safety. I positioned myself so that only one spider could attack at a time and began my assault. Seconds later, I was dead! Glancing at the other side of the screen as I mentally recapped the preceding events, to try to determine how I had died so quickly, I was greeted with the sight of the girlfriend’s sword swinging vigorously in the area I had been occupying moments earlier.

Being the loving boyfriend that I am, I readily (maybe foolishly) brushed the incident aside as an accident; her lack of experience and apparent inability to aim correctly having been long since identified. Deep down however, I suspect it was actually just the opening gambit in a sustained campaign to make things difficult for me. Our second encounter with a Monster Spawner pushed me over the edge (literally).

Whereas our first dungeon had been found within a cave system on the same horizontal plane, the second was uncovered as a result of removing one of the blocks of stone that formed the ceiling. This time, the room below was occupied by zombies; a less dangerous proposition than the nimble spiders of the previous incident, but our elevated position would either leave us vulnerable whilst we attempted to descend into the room, or result in a slight diversion as we dug around to approach from a more suitable angle. It was then I was gifted with a burst of inspiration!

Immediately prior to discovering the dungeon, we had been in the lower reaches of our mine, and I just happened to have a bucket full of lava in my inventory. Triumphantly, I poured the contents into the room below and gleefully cackled as it engulfed the embodiments of evil within. With the dungeon purged of zombies, I assessed the situation to determine how best to remove the lava: could I simply collect it back up in my bucket, or would it be necessary to cordon the affected area off with spare blocks? Whilst this quandary was being processed, someone decided it was the opportune moment to take a closer look - apparently there’s something about split-screen gaming that means it’s not the same unless you can see on your side of the divide.

And so it came to pass that Miss Beanz charged headlong towards my position, bumping me off my perch and into the still raging pool of lava below. Health was depleted; inventory contents were burnt to a cinder, never to be seen again; and much glaring ensued.

But then, it was just an accident, wasn’t it.

Wasn’t it?!