Following on from Trials of an Adventurer Part 2 (link) and having beaten the great evil in the chaos of a dungeon called The Praetorium, the Seventh Astral Era finally dawned anew. And so one of my great deeds to do henceforth, get tea… Oh come on!
I’m going to save you a lot of slack and hell, and just talk about the positives. I revisited old places and found out that they’re great for plundering for Grand Company seals because who knows what good they’ll actually be. Spoilers: they’re super useful if you’re a lazy person for getting dark matter to repair equipment and certain items needed for a certain weapon I heard rumours of. Cough cough anima quests cough cough.
With each dungeon ticked off my list, the need to do tasks that the Scions set me continues to grow. Some things happen and for some reason we’re all a happy family. I get it, I’ve learnt what I can as a White Mage and that’s a whole load of not healing it turns out. I think I entered the wrong profession. More dungeoneering later and I stumble on a Dark Knight who I’ll forever remember as the masochistic tank, as I’m her Heal slut. As negative of an experience it should’ve been, I heavily enjoyed the brief moment of banter, sharing our love over a certain useless masochistic knight who follows a useless god too. Ah the things we do for cheese, how everything goes in circles.
Somehow amidst all of this running around and doing errands, I happened perchance to run into a rather suave red clothed figure. Dashing and acting like a weirdo, I couldn’t help but investigate this person, and somehow in some weird encounter later I’m a Red Mage. At first I didn’t understand this whole shooting lighting to shoot air and more thunder to shoot stones and thunder. Must be a Black Mage heretic thing, but I understood the air and stone at least. I’ve been using that to tickle my enemies to death, so knowing I’m casting mini vortexes of wind and causing weird rocky explosions that actually hurt things is good. If a little contradictory to my role, but hey I’m now a DPS person so I can’t complain if my ability to hurt is more than double. Plus the ability to heal and resurrect is too good to pass, nobody told to me to swear to an oath okay.
Funny enough though, some old geezer just handed me their Katana and I guess I’m a Samurai now. Which is kinda funny since I saw this girl look at me weirdly, I might have been vein in thinking she needed a wonderful healer like me in my new get up. But turns out there’s some weird family feud, they threw some things at me. My Protect cast and natural use of Aero helped me catch these weird star things. One thing led to another and now I’m a Ninja question mark? Somehow Pirates were involved and a weird love triangle, look I didn’t write this absurd story. I’m just recounting it. I guess I’m the odd one though for going through with it.
On the plus side, I’m a highly skilled crafter in the arts of Alchemy so I don’t have to buy potions. And it was at this time that I realised how redundant potions are, like seriously am I somehow poisoning myself by using it? I can’t somehow stomach drinking the stuff, I wonder if the brewing process ferments it and triggers some kind of bodily reaction, causing you to suffer some form of indigestion. I’ll have to look into, on the plus side I can make intelligence boosting drinks so I’ve no idea how to make my mind on that.
But don’t worry, things got real good. And by real good, I mean practically everything goes to hell. Clearly, despite my ability to make incredible drinks and dishes, and save Eorzea, I can’t serve food at a banquet. I can only assume I’m just over qualified to serve a meal to people in political power. But tea? That’s perfectly fine, go fetch the leaves, fresh ones if you want. Anyway, the leader of Eorzea has her wine poisoned, we, I mean the Scions get blamed for it. Everyone starts getting hunted down, I think nearly if not everyone is dead. I understand I’m just expecting to see people alive by the end of it, I’ve got more than enough magic to Raise everyone back up. And I think that’s about it, as far as Scion duties go.
Oh, I did explore some kind of crystal tower and there was some weird guy called Xander and I had to kill a giant cloud who formed a naked women. Not that I was jealous or anything, it’s uncouth for a White Mage like myself. Ask a Black Mage and I bet she’d squeal at the thought and turn red. Okay, maybe I should put my Red Mage hat down and stop drinking this weird “Mind drink”. Clearly I can’t even cast straight, on the plus side I’ve still got a somewhat paying job. Something about slaying dragons.