ROGOLF Review

ROGOLF is a roguelite minigolf game developed and published by Seabird Interactive. I… am not much of a golfer, to be honest. The most experience I’ve had with a golf club was either in minigolf or at the driving range, where I would whack my ball as hard as I could. But as a roguelite, this game will require precision, strategy, and persistence to climb this golfing ladder. So, am I willing to sell my soul to these corporate overlords, or would I rather quit while I still can?

Welcome to ROGOLF, a company dedicated to all things minigolf. Don’t mind the coin-faced receptionist, they’re cool! You’ve been contracted to test courses so that they meet the company’s standards. Fail to meet their ever-increasing projections, and you’ll be shown the door. After that, not much story of note, just make sure you stay employed… which is so much harder than I’m making it out to be.

The game has a fairly simple art style that is appropriately corporate. It’s cold and drab when you’re in between levels, while the golf courses themselves are a little more visually interesting, with far more vibrant colours. This is accompanied by a synthwave and lo-fi soundtrack to help you line up shots, which I liked well enough.

Let’s get onto the green now. If you need a refresher on what minigolf is… well, first off, why? Secondly, I’m glad to oblige! It’s pretty simple: just putt your ball into the hole in the fewest number of shots possible, and earn enough points from three courses to make it to the next floor. Points are earned based on the shots you have left and coins (which add a multiplier) you collect.

Each level has its own rules you’ll need to contend with that can either be helpful, such as coins removing shots or making out-of-bounds shots not count, or actively detrimental, like reducing visibility and time limits. Fail even one rule, and you’ll lose a ball, and losing them all will get you fired. Also, if you don’t quite reach the points needed to progress, you can always retry a hole to improve your score… at the cost of a ball.

These courses can be pretty tricky to complete with a good score, even if you’ve seen them before, requiring that your short game be up to company standards before anything else. It can lead to some incredible moments like getting a hole-in-one or, better yet, a hole-in-zero. However, I think some accessibility features would be nice for struggling golfing noobs. Maybe something like what’s done in Wii Sports with a meter that indicates how far the ball goes or the ability to tap the ball in when near the hole, because needing to find the sweet spot between over and undershooting was a lot more stressful than it should be.

However, as mentioned before, the company only cares about numbers going up, no matter the cost. The challenges you face will get more and more difficult as you progress, eventually becoming impossible to keep going… that is, if you’re playing fairly. If you want to reach the top, you’ll need to cheat a little. Between floors, the Smuggler will offer a selection of access cards for purchase that will increase your point-scoring potential, like adding more multipliers per bounce or gaining more points the further your ball goes. Just like in Balatro, seeing your combo of cards trigger and give you points is quite satisfying.

That being said, access cards might not be enough to get you through your contract. If you need a little more support, you can head to one of the many facilities the company provides (for a price, of course). Visit the Break Room and purchase coffee and snacks to give you temporary bonuses to help you through a tough level, or buy some extra balls to allow more room for mistakes. They're honestly really useful when you're in a pinch and saved my run a few times.

Access to these extra facilities is dependent on your contract, with special contracts (challenge runs) having some wildly different benefits. That being said, more benefits also mean greater expectations, so you’d better make full use of them while you’re working. I could very well be the difference between a nice payday or becoming unemployed.

Oh, but that’s not all. Teamwork, synergy, and all those buzzwords is one of the many foundations that keep many companies afloat, so why not do some team building? That’s right, you can play ROGOLF with up to four players, competing against each other to get promoted to a non-intern position. Unfortunately, I can’t really tell you much about the multiplayer considering my perpetual antisocial tendencies, but it will probably be fun… or rage-inducing. It depends on your feelings about golf.

And… I admit, I felt like grabbing a club and bending it over my knee at times. There are just some design choices I didn’t really gel with. I wish you could rotate the camera to get a better angle on some shots, because some courses can make seeing your ball a challenge. Also, I think the physics can be a little wonky, which can ruin a good shot. Balls rolling uphill can stop all of a sudden and awkwardly jitter back down or go flying off into the void for seemingly no reason.

At the very least, ROGOLF performs solidly in terms of performance. I didn’t see any drops in the framerate and glitches were barely noticeable. Nothing should get in your way of earning your keep.

At the end of my contract, I have to admit, I enjoyed my time with ROGOLF. Sure, it has some problems, like iffy physics and questionable camera angles, but if you love minigolf and seeing numbers go up, this game is right for you.