5 reasons Geralt of Rivia is really Father Christmas

It’s getting to that time of year again; the frigid air invades our homes, and ranks of fearful parents plague our local gaming outlets in the hopes of finding that one gem that will satisfy their child’s voracious need for new digital content. I don’t like Christmas, but I do like videogames, and my recent adventures in the realms of The Witcher: Wild Hunt has brought me to a startling revelation regarding my favourite monster hunter: here are five reasons why Geralt of Rivia is Father Christmas.

5. He looks the part

The White Wolf has always looked older than he acts, owing to his stark white hair and battle wearied face. The recent addition of a beard to his already grizzled visage contributes to this feeling of worldly intelligence that is often attributed to Father Christmas. Yes, his newly-acquired facial hair brings about a certain ‘rugged’ appeal, but I can’t look at that half-smile any more without hearing a faint “Ho, Ho, Ho” in the deep recesses of my mind (of course, my decision to wear nothing but crimson armour certainly hasn’t helped him in that respect).

4. His sack is full of toys and goodies

Whenever Kris Kringle leaves the workshop, he is obligated to take with him a sack full of toys for undeserving girls and boys. The sack is arguably one of the most important features belonging to the Father Christmas image, and I’m sure he would feel quite unequipped to take on the masses if he didn’t have with him at least a few small gifts for the children visiting the grotto. Now, Geralt doesn’t carry delightful packages as such, but he does run around toting Dimeritium bombs and vials of White Rafford decoction. Leaving a Grapeshot or two in a harpy nest is essentially the same as leaving a pair of socks in a stocking, and so we should commend the White Wolf on his sense of Christmas spirit. 

3. He performs magic

He knows when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake; he knows if you’ve been bad or good, and he’ll use Axii to set you straight. Ask any five year-old, and they will tell you without a doubt that Saint Nicholas possesses magical abilities that allow him to carry out his impossible task. Sure, Geralt doesn’t need to slide effortlessly down chimneys, nor is he able to traverse the globe in a single night (discounting fast-travel); however, he can magically ignite candles and hear monster cries from a hundred metres away. The only difference I can find between our jolly Christmas angel and our cynical freak of nature is that Geralt’s powers run on stamina, rather than the laughter of small children.

2. He's friendly with little people

Santa’s elves are small, jolly and really good at what they do (which, in modern times, usually consists of making iPads from scratch). They work hard, and they are always able to laugh and smile while they work at creating gifts to give to the world. The dwarves from The Witcher universe are more or less the same, being both master craftsmen and the height of a small child. Yes, I know Geralt doesn’t enslave the dwarves and enlist them to his secret army of toy builders, but he does often pay them to forge swords and armour for him to carry out his contracts; I wholeheartedly want to believe that Saint Nick’s workshop is just the real-world equivalent of Vivaldi’s Bank.

1. He's a legend

My last and most pivotal point is not a physical attribute, but one of status; wherever Geralt of Rivia goes, he is greeted as the heroic White Wolf, or blessed as a divine solver of problems. In the eyes of children, he is a knight in shining armour, and to the adults, he is a god-sent protector of their offspring. Dear old Saint Nick holds these same qualities, being a household name and patron of the darkest month in the year. He is ever watchful, and only appears when the people need him most; in that sense, Geralt of Rivia can be none other than the jolly red Saint.