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A Gamer's Guide to Publisher Lingo

A Gamer's Guide to Publisher Lingo

Videogame publishers, or at least the PR departments supporting them, just don’t know how to talk to gamers. So much so that over the years the videogame community (be it press, publishers or even the individual gamer) has developed its own unofficial lingo - the issue here is that nobody understands it all. Well, ever the guardians of the gaming world, we here at GameGrin have put together a handy little guide that should help you navigate the murky waters of Publisher PR talk. Yes, it does all make the publishers look rather bad, but let it be a lesson: they really need to just start telling the truth:

What they say:

We're very excited

What they mean:

This is an idea that should make a lot of money.

What they say:

We are very excited

What they mean:

This is an idea that should make a lot of money. Also, we’re a highly respectable company.

What they say:

We like to give the player a choice

What they mean:

Look, some people pay for microtransactions. Just because you tight bastards won’t give a penny doesn’t mean a housewife in Oklahoma won’t fork over her life savings to get an extra life or two.

What they say:

We’re still working out the kinks

What they mean:

All hope is lost.

What they say:

There’ll be plenty more content to enjoy

What they mean:

Yes, you might get a good few hours out of the game, but seriously, buy the DLC. We need you to. We have families to feed.

What they say:

We’d go as far as to say that this new content is essential

What they mean:

Ok, you fed our families, but there’s a really nice 50” 4K TV we saw the other day in PC World.

What they say:

Coming soon

What they mean:

We know you want this game, but honestly we have no idea when it will be finished. We could make a random guess at a date, but this game just isn’t important enough for that.

What they say:

This is for the fans

What they mean:

This game was made by a bunch of young nerds so that both old and young nerds will spend their money on a game that’s essentially a rehash of an old game made by hippies.

crocodile tears 1

What they say:

We apologise for the delay

What they mean:

We’re sorry you haven’t got a chance to line our pockets. Although, seriously, we do feel bad for messing this one up... again. Still, look on the bright side, you’ve now got another opportunity to pre-order the first two weeks’ worth of DLC.

What they say:

We have nothing to say at this time

What they mean:

Oh balls. How long do you think we can get away with this without saying anything at all?

What they say:

It’s a shame this leaked

What they mean:

Good work Kevin.

What they say:

It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before

What they mean:

The developers told us this would be a big deal when the game is finished in 2012, it’s now 2015 and we don’t want to tell them there have already been a million games like it.

What they say:

We’re aware of the issue and have taken steps to resolve it

What they mean:

We read your post, noted the problem, then stuck it in the pile for Jerry to fix. Keep at it Jerry, Christmas isn’t going to be cheap this year with that baby on the way.

What they say:

Due in Q1

What they mean:

As far as you’re all concerned, July counts as Q1. No arguments.

What they say:

This is a new age for (insert franchise)

What they mean:

We added the obligatory ‘shinier graphics’ and threw a few more ideas at the wall to see if they’ll stick for the inevitably better sequel.

What they say:

We want to thank the fans for their continued support

What they mean:

Please stop shouting at us. We’re trying to fix everything, seriously... DAMMIT JERRY DO YOU EVEN WANT THIS JOB?

70% of the time, those translations work every time. You’re welcome.

Ryan Davies

Ryan Davies

Junior Editor

Budding, growing and morphing games journalist from the South. Known nowhere around the world as infamous wrestler Ryan "The Lion" Davies.

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COMMENTS

domdange
domdange - 07:19pm, 2nd March 2015

Love it. Awesome!

Reply