When Love and Games Collide

Something that I generally look for in a partner is a shared love of gaming. There’s nothing quite like the sheer joy, rage and connection that comes along with a great cooperative or competitive game session with the person you care about most. And it’s great, it really is. But what happens when the relationship goes sour, and the games you loved are suddenly unplayable hovels of the past, with unwelcome memories scattered around like some kind of twisted collectible?

Honestly, it was never something I’d ever thought about before, until this year when I found myself without a player two. The problem here was that the game we played together most was World of Warcraft, something that has been part of my life for well over a decade now. Azeroth has always been my place of refuge, solitude and whenever I’ve been at my lowest, it’s been there, like an old reliable friend.

So now, when my relationship was over, the one place I would usually run to was the one place I couldn’t bring myself to visit. And it left me feeling even more lost than I had expected I would be. It had a knock on effect to other games I loved. Dragon Age, something I played alone but constantly ranted about to my ex, felt like a hollow, waste of time, Thedas no longer a landscape that I could possibly enjoy. Fallout 3, a game we had both enjoyed and I had watched him play had no appeal to me, the only relatable thing being the stark wasteland I felt like I was left with.

My favourite hobby, just like that, was gone. The only thing I could enjoy was the mindless, plotless “game” Tap Titans. Tap, tap, tapping away trying to lose time in its monotony. And it did work, to a certain extent. It was a distraction, but it didn’t fill anything. There was no entertainment here, no life, nothing memorable or great.

It’s left me feeling confused. I want to get my love back, my love of gaming, but it seems like I’ve got to get through two break-ups here, not just the one I chose. How does one reignite a passion for something that you never willingly stopped loving? I guess it takes time. All I know is that I want it back, and perhaps my journey toward that is something I could share with you, internet. For right now, at least I have Tap Titans.